


Behind the Gem

by PS2wizard



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Actor AU, Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Behind the Scenes, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Team Bonding, bloopers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23158966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PS2wizard/pseuds/PS2wizard
Summary: Set in a world where Steven Universe is a popular TV show, follow the lives of Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Steven, and the rest of the cast and take a peek at what goes behind the scenes. Not only does this include bloopers and the making of each episode, but it explores the lives of the actors off set as they deal with the hilarity, chaos, and drama that goes on behind closed doors.(Will be adding additional tags as I add chapters and the story progresses. To avoid confusion the actors will still go by their names on the show. Steven is Steven, Garnet is Garnet, etc)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	1. Gem Glow

I do not own Steven Universe, just this quirky idea of an AU. To avoid any confusion, all of the actors will be addressed by their character's name. Steven is Steven, Pearl is Pearl, etc.  
\-----------------  
"Are we rolling?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Great, aim it at me."

Panning to the right, an exuberant purple actress appeared in the phone's frame sitting down with a make-up table behind her. "What up gemheads! This is Amethyst, and we're-"

"Gemheads?" asked a younger, offscreen voice.

"Yeah, gemheads. Star Trek has Trekkies, My Little Pony has bronies, and our fans are gemheads. Unless they come with something better." Anyway, we're bringing you an exclusive sneak peak of everything going on here on the set of STEVEN UNIVERSE!" She then proceeded to do a cocky impression of an airhorn that got a giggle out of her assistant. Amethyst took the phone and aimed it at herself while wrapping an arm around the young boy who previously held it. "Helping me is the big star himself, STEVEN UNIVERSE!"

The flustered ten year old bashfully waved while she mimicked a roaring crowd. "Uhhhh….hi?"

"Isn't he just a little cutie pie? I could just eat him up. In fact," Amethyst leaned in and pretended to nom on Steven's curly hair. Steven did his best to hold her off and act scared but he broke down in a fit of giggles.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------  
The door to the make-up department opened and emerging from it was Pearl, all dolled up in her white body paint and costume. It was an arduous task sitting for nearly an hour getting the paint applied but it all turned out nice. The transparent skirt was a bit much but she could work with it. Afterall, it's not everyday you get cast for such an important role in a TV show. She couldn't wait to get started.

"Pearl, Pearl," said Amethyst, charging towards her holding up her phone like an amateur shutterbug. "What's it like being exposed to natural sunlight for the first time in years?"

"Oh ha ha Amethyst," Pearl scoffed with a roll of her eyes. It was their first time seeing one another since the auditions. While Pearl appreciated her excitement, she was hardly in the mood to joke around. Especially on the first day of shooting.

"How long will it take before you to burst into flames?"

"I'll see you on set Amethyst. Try not to smudge your makeup." Pearl didn't have time to humor Amethyst. She had to meet with the choreographer for the centipeetle scene and practice using her spear. She marched straight to set but Amethyst persisted in following her and barraging her with obnoxious questions

"Just tell me what SPF you're using. A million? A billion? Is your dad Jim Gaffigan?"

"Leave me alone!" Pearl hollered. She broke into a sprint passing by confused crew members in an attempt to lose Amethyst.

"You cannot escape the paparazzi!"

This was going to be a very long shoot.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The Big Donut set was abuzz with activity as the production team prepared for the first take. Sadie and Lars were at their positions behind the counter going over their lines while Steven played with his belly and the gem placed on his stomach. Clearly it was fake but a convincing fake. Plus Steven found it pretty and fun to mess with.

"Duuuuude, nice bling," Amethyst commented, grabbing his attention.

"I know, right? It's so cool. So is your gem."

"Heh, thanks. You have no idea how lucky you got it. It takes an hour for us to get all made up and all you get is a slap of super glue and you're all set. Plus guys don't get all weird when you ask them to check if your gem is on right."

Steven didn't understand that last part, since his gem was on his stomach and her gem was on her chest, but the rest he could sympathize."Yeah...well at least you get to look like a super cool space alien. The only make-up they use is that stuff that makes my head less shiny." He imagined the process wasn't too far off from getting your face paint at a county fair.

"You wouldn't like it," Amethyst assured him. "It's a pain to wash off and then we got to through it all again. But you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes to get ahead in this business." Steven hadn't considered that nor did he realize how tough she had it. Realizing that she was bringing down the mood, she changed gears saying, "Who cares about how we look. We're gonna be on TV! How many kids get to say that they've done that?"

Not realizing that it was a rhetorical question, Steven stopped and thought about it. He's met a fair share of other child actors on the sets of commercials and at auditions but he didn't know any of them personally. What he did know was that this was a cutthroat business, even if he didn't completely understand the term. "Not a lot?"

"Exactly! So who cares what they make us do? We're gonna go out there and give everything we got and get super famous. You got me?"

"Yeah." Steven smiled.

"What was that? I can't hear you?"

"YEAH!" Steven pumped his fists in the air and his shirt dropped back down covering his stomach. A few heads turned but everyone mostly ignored him.

"Great, now we just need one more thing and then we're all set."

"What's that!?"

"I need you to do the truffle shuffle."

Steven lowered his arms and stared blankly at her, "What's a truffle shuffle?"

"...okay. First chance we get, you and me are watching Goonies."

"But-"

"No buts!"  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------  
TAKE ONE

"Well if you miss your wimpy ice cream so much, why don't you make some with your magic belly button," taunted Lars.

That's not how it it works Lars!" Steven looked to his gem unsure of himself. "Right?"

Steven pulled up his shirt and squished his tummy, only for his gem to immediately pop off and clatter to the ground. He gasped and without missing a beat cried out, "Oh no! Mom!"

The crew burst into laughter and the director called cut while fighting back a fit of giggles. Steven smiled sheepishly and bent down to pick up his gem. All of those improv classes were finally paying off. He tried to stick the gem back on but it kept falling. "A little help?"  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Garnet ran through her lines while the crew brought out the Centipeetle puppets for the interior of the house. Her cubic wig was set next to her with the gauntlets she would be using for the fight scene. She didn't have much to say in the show so she had little to memorize but it didn't hurt to be prepared. Having gone over the script plenty of times, she was curious to see how this would all look all screen. She had a good impression of what the characters were like but she hadn't interacted with the other leads yet, save for Amethyst. Speaking of...

"Ladies and gentleman, we are getting an exclusive interview with the first woman to ever get third degree sunburns," Amethyst announced, running up to Garnet with her phone recording and fixed on the stoic actress. Almost everyone heard about her little reporter bit with Pearl and earned a reputation for herself and living up to it. "Miss, do you have any words for our listeners?"

There was a silent pause as Garnet lowered her script and stared directly at the phone. "It burns. A lot."

She figured if this was how Amethyst was going to make a first impression, then she would have to give a fitting response. Garnet got a chuckle snort from Amethyst with that and needed a moment before she could follow up that question. "Holy hell, how were you able to say that with a straight face?"

"I'm just that good." Garnet normally wasn't a show-off but she figured that sort of response would amuse her greatly, and it did. If Amethyst was this easily amused, she wondered what the kid she would be working with would be like. She didn't have the best track record with kids. More often than not, she intimidated them without even trying. Hopefully this kid didn't scare easily.

Just then, someone loudly gasped and she craned her head to the left. Standing in awe was a young boy with salmon colored T shirt on in sandals looking her way. It was a safe bet that this was the titular Steven Universe. If she wasn't wearing her visors, he would have noticed that she was also staring wide-eyed at him. She only had one thought running through her head.

Oh no. He's absolutely precious.

"Are you Garnet?"

She hesitated for a moment before saying yes.

"Woooooow, you're even cooler than the script said you'd be," he said with starry-eyed wonder. His eyes landed on her gauntlets. He circled around to get a better look at the props. She smirked at his innocence and appreciated the compliment.

"Wanna try them on?" Garnet offered. Steven whipped his head to face her and nodded fervently while Amethyst stifled a chortle. "Alright, just be careful not to-"

Just then a shriek rang out. Garnet and Steven looked over and Amethyst raised her phone to the set. It was Pearl recoiling at one of the Centipeetle puppets being tested by its operator. The pinchers and legs wriggling was impressively lifelike and garnered a shiver from Pearl. "Ugh, do I really have to hold one of these?"

"It's alright Pearl. They're just puppets. " the prop master cleared up.

"Aw c'mon Pearl," Amethyst said, picking up one of the puppets and shaking it in front of the pale woman. "All these little guys need is a little love."

"Ugh, then you do it. The two of you are perfect for each other." Pearl marched away with her script in hand. Placing the puppet under her arm, Amethyst aimed the camera at her and The Centipeetle.

"You heard it here first. Steven Universe's got its first power couple." Amethyst gave the puppet a kiss and posed with it.

Garnet had a feeling this was going to be an interesting shoot.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
TAKE ONE

Pearl was on her mark, holding one of the squirming centipeetle puppets while the puppeteer layed on the floor out of frame. Looking down at Steven, she told him in a gentle, motherly tone, "Steven, until you learn to control the powers in your gem, we'll take care of protecting humanity." She then lightly twisted the puppet's head and dropped it. "Okay?"

"Cut!" announced the director. "Pearl, we need you to snap the head faster."

"Oh! Alright," Pearl picked the puppet off the ground and let the puppeteer adjust it back into place. Even though it was just a prop it still felt like overkill snapping the neck so brutally. This was supposed to be a kid's show, after all. Still, this was probably the most violent thing that would ever happen on this show so she could overlook it this one time. At least there wasn't any blood.

TAKE TWO

"Steven, until you learn to control the power- oh!" Pearl's hand slipped and she dropped the centipeetle puppet. She reached down and picked up her prop with a sheepish smile. "Sorry everyone."

"Back to one!"

Once everyone was back at their marks, Pearl started again. "Steven, until you learn to control the-" The wriggling puppet broke free of her grip and nearly whacked Steven's face but only managed to startle him. Pearl tried to laugh it off and pointed to the ground, "That was his fault that time." She hoped he wouldn't take it personally.

TAKE THREE

"Steven, until you learn to control the powers in your gem, we'll take care of protecting humani-"

Pearl twisted the centipeetle's head hard just like the director said. And as a result, she ripped it off leaving the body to flop to the ground and bits of felt dangling from the head. For a few seconds the set was dead silent and Pearl was immobilized by terror, until Amethyst started howling with laughter. Then the rest of the staff joined in.

"Cut!" shouted the director. "Someone get a new puppet for Pearl."

"I am so sorry. I-I-I d-didn't think it would just come off like that," Pearl apologized, stricken with grief. These puppet did not look cheap and she wasn't told what to do if she broke one.

"Pearl that was awesome!" Steven cheered. "I didn't think you could do that."

"Yeah-ha P. You-hoo-hoo-hoo were brutahahahahal!" Amethyst wheezed between giggles.

"It was an accident, I swear!"

"Settle down Pearl, we got more in the back. Just go easy next time."

"Well which is it?"  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
TAKE ONE

"He's a brand new treat from outer space

Cause he came from outer- oh wait that's not right. Sorry!" Steven apologized.

TAKE TWO

"He's a brand new treat with a brand new taste. Wait, I did I say brand twice?"

TAKE THREE

"A refoogee of an interstellar war

And now-"

"I'm sorry, he's a what?" Amethyst repeated.

"He's a ref- oh, dang it. I almost had it."  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------  
TAKE ONE

Pearl stood before Steven underneath the branches of a cherry blossom tree. Pearl questioned what such a tree would be doing in a place called Beach City but she couldn't deny the set looked lovely. It also was an apt location for her character so she couldn't fault the script. She never did get a chance to ask if this was a fake tree or not. Right now, it was her time to shine.

"Pay attention to these petals, Steven. The petal's dance seem to-to-to-tachoo!" Pearl sneezed and covered her nose.

"Bless you."

"Thank you Steven."

TAKE TWO

"The petal's dance seems improvised but it is actu-ah-ah-ahCHOO!"

"Need a tissue, Pearl?" The director asked.

"Yesh please."

TAKE THREE

"With hard work and dedication, you can master the magical properties of your gem. And perfu-huh-ha-HACHOO! HACHOO!"

Steven grimaced seeing a little bit of snot dribble down her nose. "Are you okay, Pearl?"

"I think it's the pollen," she snorted. All they told her was that her scene would be filmed on sound stages and the beach.

"Everyone take five," the director ordered. "Someone get Pearl some allergy medicine and eye drops."

"I'b really sorry. I didn't realize we'd b-bawhoo!" So much for her time to shine. At least Amethyst wasn't there to rub it in.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
TAKE ONE

"I don't think it works this way, Steven." Pearl said as Steven adjusted her footing.

"And Garnet," Steven said as he reached up to cup her face, but he couldn't quite reach her face.

"I can squat down if you need me to," Garnet offered.

"No….wait….I got it…."

He didn't get it.  
\------------------------------------------------------------  
The beach set was almost finished. The 'acid' spraying hose was just about ready and the grips were setting up the paper mache hand for the gems to hide behind. Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl were getting their harnesses strapped in while a large, puffy stunt bag was being inflated for when they jumped down to face the Mother Centipeetle. It reminded Steven of a huge bounce house and the fact that he couldn't play on it was driving him crazy.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Garnet asked, getting the star's attention.

"Yeah it is! I wish they'd let the rest of us play around on it." Steven moped.

"If you want, you can do my stunt for me. I'm sure we got an extra wig around her somewhere."

Even though she was clearly joking, Steven looked up at the platform up above where Garnet was supposed to dive. It was higher than the high dive at his old swimming pool. Just looking at it made him queasy, and the cookie cats he had earlier weren't helping. "Uhhhh, no thanks. I think I'm good."

"One of should probably test it to make sure it's safe," Amethyst mused. She wrapped an arm around Pearl saying, "What do you say Pearl? Ready to take the plunge?"

"If you push me Amethyst, I swear-"

"Take it easy, P. I'd never do that." Pearl huffed and let the crewman finish checking her harness. "Your nose would obviously pop the dang thing."  
\--------------------------------------------------------------  
This was it. The last shot of the day. All Steven had to do was make his cheesy little one-liner, something about how the cookie cat crumbles or whatever, and they could end on a happy were going to lose the lighting any second now. The sun was going to dip below the horizon and if they didn't get this shot they'd have to shoot a re-take tomorrow. All eyes were on Steven.

"Don't worry, Steven. I'm sure someday you'll figure out how to activate your gem," said Pearl.

"Yes," Garnet added. "In your own, Steven-y way."

"I'm okay guys. I just-"

Steven's stomach rumbled. He reached for his stomach and tried to play it off but he noticed the sound mixer wince. His mic must have picked that up. They told him not to eat too much beforehand so he didn't, and now it was coming to bite him in the buns. He acted fast and tried to think of something fast.

"I think I ate too many cookie cats."

Before he could add something to it the gems laughed off the remark. He missed his chance. Did they still have time to film this? He laughed along with them and wracked his brain for something really funny. Then Steven got an idea, hunched over, and retched. Steven waited for someone to call cut but nothing happened. So he looked up and asked, "Did you get that?"

The crew let out a collective sigh of relief when they realized he was pretending. Amethyst started cracking up for real and Garnet shook her head. The sun dipped out of eyesight and the director called it a wrap. Steven sighed and was glad they got it.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------  
Aside from a few slip-ups here and there the shoot went well and the director seemed satisfied with how everything turned out. The same could not be said for Amethyst. She wasn't going to be satisfied until she got Pearl one more time. With a hand in her pocket, she walked over to Pearl's trailer ready to ambush her with another mock interview. None of the PA's were around to rat her out so she had the element of surprise. Sneaking up to Pearl's door, Amethyst was ready to catch her off-guard when she discovered the door was ajar and could hear Pearl talking to someone.

"...yes that's Steven." Pearl replied, followed by a pause and a giggle. "I know, isn't he? And so well-behaved. At least when Amethyst isn't enlisting him in her little pranks...no Amethyst is the purple one. Garnet's the one with the afro...I wouldn't say she's red. Maybe more of a magenta? We work well but I never know what to say around her. I can't tell if she's trying to be a method actor or if she's always like that. And as for Amethyst...well..."

There was a pause as the person on the other end spoke. Amethyst got the impression that this was something that she shouldn't be eavesdropping on. She should step away and give Pearl her privacy but her feet wouldn't move. She felt compelled to stay and hear what Pearl had to say about her.

"Amethyst can be a bit... much at times. Every time I see her she's always messing around or goofing off. I don't know when she actually takes the time to read the script. I'm almost certain she waits until the last minute to read her lines. Oh hang on." There was another pause that felt like an eternity to the purple prankster. "I can't do that. She hasn't technically done anything wrong. She just acts like a child. I just wish she could take this a little more seriously and stop treating everything like a joke."

Amethyst loosened her grip on her phone. She wanted to defend herself against this attack on her character but bursting into the room would just prove Pearl right. Amethyst was trying her hardest out there but she wanted to have fun too. How was she supposed to take a show about alien rocks fighting monsters with a kid who likes singing and ice cream? People laughed at her jokes and no one called her out yet so she figured that she wasn't doing anything wrong. Though that clearly wasn't the case. Was this not how you're supposed to be? Were they just humoring her? The mood was gone. Amethyst just wanted to go home and curl up in bed.

"Believe me, I wish I could tell her but she'd probably tell me that I'm being a buzzkill...and I'm worried that she might be right. Maybe I'm the problem." Up until now Amethyst was willing to agree with everything Pearl had said but she could not believe what she heard. "I mean Amethyst can be rowdy but at least she can get through her lines without stumbling. She doesn't break props. She doesn't bring the production to a halt because she forgot to take her allergy medicine." Pearl sniffled and paused for a moment. "No, no I'm not going to quit. I'm going to stay as long as I can. If things don't work out…"

Amethyst waited on bated breath but Pearl didn't finish the rest of that sentence. Whoever was on the other line must be talking. Whatever they were saying, it got a sad laugh out of the sniffling star. "Yes. Yes I understand. I'm sorry I didn't call sooner. I'm just glad I can talk to you about this. I should go so you don't have to stay up any longer." There was one final pause and Pearl signed off by saying, "I love you too, mom."

Pearl ended the call leaving Amethyst to dwell on what she overheard. Her initial instinct was to hightail it out of there but once again she didn't. Instead, she summoned the courage to raise her fist and rap her knuckle on the door. Seconds later, Pearl opened the door. Her eyes still looked a little red and Amethyst hoped it was because of allergies. "Oh, hi Amethyst. Did you need something?" It was clear that she wasn't thrilled to see Amethyst but she wasn't antagonistic either.

"Uh yeah," she said guiltily. After hearing all that she felt like a jackass for what she planned on doing. "I uh...just wanted to say...well...good job today."

Pearl seemed caught off by that remark, as if she expected Amethyst to say something else. "Oh….well thank-"

"And I was wondering," Amethyst interrupted, trying to think of a way to ask this without revealing anything. "Would you want to, like, meet up sometime? I heard that in the next episode, we talk about Steven's parents, I don't want to sound like a complete...jerk. Think you could teach me how to say it more tactfully?" This felt completely pointless. After everything she did why would Pearl trust her. For all she knew, this could be another prank. She had every right to turn her down.

"I'd like that Amethyst." Pearl reached for a scrap of paper and a pen. She scribbled down her number and handed it to her, turning the tables and surprising Amethyst this time. "Just text me when's a good time for you and where we should meet."

"Yeah. You got it," Amethyst beamed, happy to make amends.

"Just don't pick McDonalds. We wouldn't want people to confuse you for Grimace," She teased, a little too proud of her of joke.

Amethyst didn't react at all to it. Instead, she took out her phone and recorded another video of herself She turned on the video recorder. "Well gemheads, it's been fun but I'm officially resigning from Steven Universe. I can't take the harassment any longer-"

"Oh my god, Pearl."

"-Pearl's really crossed the line. You'd think she would show some professionalism-"

"Good night, Amethyst." On that note, Pearl closed the door and got her belongings together. Leaving Amethyst to film her little mockumentary and leaving Pearl to wonder if every shoot was going to be this hectic.  
\-----------------------------------------------  
Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope you all liked it. I initially intended for this to a short little gag story of blooper reels but once I thought of the Pearl and Amethyst scene at the end, I decided I wanted to make this a bit more heartfelt and showcase some moments of the actors genuinely bonding. While I'd like to cover all the episodes, I haven't decided on if I'll go through with it yet. I'm still deciding on stuff like if the actors playing Greg and Rose should be Steven's actual parents or not. Until then, feel free to leave a comment letting me know what you thought, what you liked and disliked, and what you'd like to see in future chapters.


	2. Laser Light Cannon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven encounters Greg's actor for the first time, Garnet and Amethyst mess around during rehearsals, Pearl issues an announcement to Amethyst's fans, and lots of bloopers.

I do not own Steven Universe, obviously that credit goes to Rebecca Sugar and the Crewniverse

\----------------

Steven thought he would have the time of his life working on a TV show that's right next to the beach. He envisioned himself playing in the sand, swimming in the sea, or having water gun fights. Instead, he was cooped up in his trailer waiting for the crew to unload all the lighting equipment for the big night scene and finish setting up the storage unit. Steven was told to stay put until they were ready which meant no wandering around the set and "bothering" the PA's. He still hadn't seen any of other kids yet on set and questioned how long it would be until he saw someone his age. At least when he did those fruit punch commercials there were kids he could talk with.

Nobody was around now. Amethyst was rehearsing with Pearl and Garnet. His parents were at work and wouldn't be back until five. Lars and Sadie weren't scheduled to show up today. He already used up all the lives on his freemium games and his parents wouldn't let him use their credit cards to buy more. He watched all his videos on Youtube, he memorized his lines like twenty times. Overall, he was bored.

At least he was until he heard a melody. He sat up once he recognized the familiar strumming of a guitar. Not a recording of one, but an actual guitar. Steven cracked open his trailer door and peeked outside to check if any PA's were around. Once the coast was clear, he slipped out of his trailer and followed his music to the adjacent trailer. The door was left wide open, no doubt to let the breeze in on the warm summer day. Steven stuck his head in the doorway and discovered that it was occupied.

Lounging in a folding chair with their feet resting on a make-up table was a middle-aged, heavy set man with a luscious head of hair. From what Steven could tell, this guy got way too much sun the other day. He wore a wife-beater with blue cargo shorts while playing a little ditty on his acoustic guitar. Really well actually. It had to be original song because Steven would have remembered a song this catchy. He found himself drumming to the beat by tapping the door. It didn't occur to Steven that might give him away until the musician stopped playing. He looked over his shoulder and caught Steven in the doorway looking like a deer in headlights.

"AHHHHH!"  
"AHHHHH!"

The guitar player fell backwards in his chair and hit the floor. Once Steven broke free of his paralysis, he rushed inside and checked on the fallen man. "Oh my gosh! Are you okay?"

"Ughhh, it's fine. I've taken way worse falls off of stages."

If that was supposed to reassure Steven, it didn't. At least he didn't look like he was badly hurt. He stretched and cracked his back, groaning as he stretched out his muscles. Steven then remembered the guitar and found it lying on the floor. Steven picked up the instrument and inspected it thoroughly. His heart sank when he saw a scratch at the bottom of it. "Oh no! Your guitar!"

"Oh that? It's always had that." He took the guitar from Steven and wiped a smudge off of it. "So I take it you're the big star of the show?" Steven meekly nodded. He was glad to be the lead but he often got bashful when people brought it up whether it was during interviews or at parties. His parents made sure that he wouldn't let success go to his head. "Call me Greg. Guess I'm gonna be playing your dad in this." Greg reached out and tussled Steven's hair which always got a laugh out of him.

"You're playing Greg? Wow! I wondered what you were going to look like. I just thought you'd look..." Steven stopped himself once he realized there wasn't a polite way to end that sentence.

"Less like a beach bum?"

"Well I was going to say different." This wasn't the rockstar dad Steven envisioned when he read the script but he didn't want to sound disappointed.

"Yeah I'm not a big fan of the wardrobe either but it at least I don't have to spend an hour in make-up. So what brings you over? Come to borrow a cup of sugar from your neighbor?"

"Um no?" Steven answered, completely missing Greg's joke. "I uh just heard you playing is all and I wanted to watch."

"Is that all? Well why didn't you say so? There's no cover charge to see me play, but there's a two drink minimum." Greg propped his chair back up while Steven looked around for anything to drink completely missing the point of Greg's joke again. His trailer was bit messier than Steven's but at least it looked more like a rockstar's room. It made up for the bald cap and the spray-on tan bottle on the table.

"So how long have you been playing?" Steven asked, looking for a place to sit.

"Around high school. I thought it would be a good way to pick up chiiiiiiips," Greg said. For a moment he forgot that he was picking up a kid. "You know, earn some cash and get some chips from the vending machine at school." Steven thought nothing suspicious of this and recalled all the times he found himself alone with a vending machine with nary a quarter in his pocket. It seemed like a convoluted way to get some food. "But then I started playing for the fun of it and even formed my own band."

"You were in a band?!"

"Yeah, we used to play at a couple college parties and open mic nights. I even got my start on TV playing a few commercials in the 90's. There were so many commercials looking for bands to make their brand extreme and radical."

"What kind of songs did you play? Did you ever sell out stadiums? Could you teach me some of your songs?"

"Slow down there, buddy. That there's a pretty long tale. They'll need us on set and I don't want to leave you on any cliffhangers. Besides, I only got the one guitar."

Steven was bummed out to hear that but then his eyes lit up like a lightbulb went off inside his head. "Wait right here!" Steven raced out of the trailer leaving behind a befuddled Greg. He returned promptly with his ukulele, holding it aloft like one of his video game characters. "Tada!"

"Heh, alright so you got yourself an ax. You know how to play it?" Greg questioned, his interest piqued. Steven simply closed his eyes and played a C Major scale, which managed to impress the actor. "Huh, not bad kid. Let's see if we can't make out a rocker out of you just yet." Steven grinned ear to ear and tightened his grip.

"What song are ya gonna teach me? Rock You Like a Hurricane? Bohemian Rhapsody? Pinball Wizard?"

"Ehhhh not quite. I got something even better. Ever hear of "Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart"?"

"I've never wanted to hear anything more in my entire life." At that moment, Greg got himself a brand new fan and Steven made his first jam bud.

\------------------------------------------------------------

Of all the things that Garnet had to worry about, rehearsing was not one of them. Especially since she had the least amount of lines among the cast. She held no resentment to the writers or Rebecca since her character was supposed to be silent, stoic type but it was boring waiting to film the next scene. Which is why she agreed to join Pearl and Amethyst's rehearsal over by the boardwalk while Steven and Greg shot their scenes at the storage unit. It helped pass the time and it would give her a chance to get to know her co-stars a bit better. Plus, those two were hysterical when they came together.

"This is bad," Garnet read aloud in a droll monotone.

"Look at the size of it," Pearl acted out dramatically. "I had-" She was cut off by a snort from Amethyst, who was covering her mouth. Pearl shot Amethyst a dirty look and took a deep breath. "Look at the size of it! I-" Amethyst snorted again and Pearl paused her performance. "Bless you. Do you need a tissue?"

"No no, I'm good," Amethyst insisted. Garnet caught a glimpse of her cheshire cat grin and the fit of giggles she was holding back. "Continue."

"Alright. Ahem... look at the size of it! I had no idea these things were so big."

A chortle slipped out of Amethyst earning a scowl from Pearl. "What is so funny?"

"N-nothing!" Amethyst replied, just barely keeping it together.

"Don't worry about her Pearl," said Garnet. "Let's just go again. Maybe put a little emphasis at the end?"

"Oh, good thinking." Pearl cleared her throat. Garnet kept her eyes on Amethyst, who was just barely keeping it together. She trembled like a can of soda someone shook up that was just ready to burst.

"I had no idea these things were so BIG!"

"Or veiny," Garnet added.

Amethyst exploded with laughter after that remark and nearly fell out of her seat. Garnet smirked and wondered how long it would take for Pearl to figure it out. She received answer as her pupils shrank and a look of realization stretched across her face. "Oh! Ugh, grow up Amethyst! This is a family show."

"He-he-he-hey, I didn't say a-a-a-anything." Amethyst giggled.

Garnet kept to herself and waited for Amethyst to settle down, glad that Pearl wasn't taking her anger out on her. What she did wasn't exactly professional but it was funny as hell.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ahhh sunset. My favorite time of day," Steven said as he and Amethyst walked away from the Beach Citywalk Fries stand eating from a bag of fry bits. "The sun goes down and the second sun gets bigger and bigger in the sky."

Amethyst laughed at this but instead of saying her lines she gagged and reached for her throat. She pounded her chest and wheezed until she coughed up the clump of chewed up fry bits. Steven groaned in disgust while the director called cut.

"This is why you shouldn't talk with your mouth full," Pearl advised further down the beach.

"Thanks for showing your concern," Amethyst shouted back sarcastically.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

TAKE ONE

For the scene, Steven was supposed to jump on top of the van and stomp until the car alarm got set off. Yet no matter how many times he jumped, Steven failed to reach the top.

"Cut! Where's Steven's step stool." the director shouted.

"He said he didn't need it," explained a PA.

"And you believed him?!"

TAKE TWO

Now that he his step stool was placed just out of frame, Steven climbed up on top and hopped on the roof only to slip and fall on his back.

"STEVEN!" Pearl squawked out of frame.

"I'm okay." Steven assured her, giving a thumbs up.

"Oh so when he slips you're worried, but when I nearly choke you don't bat an eye." Amethyst accused.

TAKE THREE

Steven finally triggered the car alarm and heard rustling inside the van. The car doors opened and Greg fell out with the grace of a pig and sweating like one too, his tank top soaked with sweat and his face glistening. "Who's there," Greg panted. "I have...a waffle iron."

"CUT! Someone get Greg some water before he passes out." The director ordered.

"It's...it's a lot hotter...than it looks...in there."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wait, is that a magical thing?" Greg asked. "The gems told me not to get not to get involved with magic stuff. It-it could be dangerous. Or interfere with what's left of my-" Greg rubbed his head a little too hard and knocked off his bald cap. He looked down at the ground, then to his exposed full head of hair, and then back at Steven. "Well it can still be dangerous."

"CUT!" called the director.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"No. No. No." Steven kept digging through the junk inside the storage unit until he made a discovery. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Is this-" Steven pressed the trigger on the T-shirt cannon before he could finish his line and shot a bundled up shirt. Which just so happened to hit one of the overhanging lights. Steven gasped, "Oh no no no no! Please don't be broken, please don't be broken!"

"Cut! Someone check and make sure he didn't break that," ordered the director.

"And be careful! The little guy's packing heat!" Amethyst teased.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TAKE ONE

"He really had it," Pearl gasped, amazed that Steven found the light cannon.

"We're sa-"

"OW! Amethyst!" The purple girl realized that she had stepped on Pearl's foot when she stepped in front of her.

"Whoops, sorry P."

TAKE TWO

"We're saved!" Amethyst hit her mark but nothing happened. She looked around expecting something to happen. "If the fans work for once," she muttered under her breath.

"What's the hold up?" the director asked.

"The cable's frayed. We gotta switch it out."

TAKE THREE

"He really had it."

"We're-" A gust of wind blew sand into the gems' faces, interrupting them. Amethyst and Pearl did their best to shield their eyes while Garnet's glasses protected her pupils..

"Sorry! Finger slipped."

"Is it too late to get us a pair of glasses too?"Amethyst inquired.

TAKE FOUR

"He really had it."

"We're saved," Amethyst said in a lackluster tone. Her crossed arms made it clear she wasn't taking this scene seriously. Not that it mattered considering that the fans didn't start again.

"Ugh, cut!" called the director. "Someone get that fan working!"

"Amethyst try to take this seriously." Pearl scolded, equally irritated.

"Seriously huh? Alright, if you say so Pearl."

TAKE FIVE

"He really had it."

"We're SAVED!" Amethyst proclaimed, startling Pearl when she stepped forward and posed dramatically. Finally, the fan started blowing before anyone could call her out. They three reacted as if they were being pulled towards the Red Eye and remained in position even with sand blowing in their faces and wind whipping their hair back.

"CUT! Finally, we got a usable take. Let's move on to the scene. Get that cannon into place." The crew turned off the fans allowing the actresses to wipe any sand off their faces. Amethyst had to spit some out of her mouth and Garnet wiped the smudges off her glasses.

"So, how was that?" Amethyst asked, looking to Pearl who was wiping her eyes. She glared back at her shorter colleague aware of what kind of reaction she expected.

"Better, but you nearly smacked my face." Pearl glared.

"So what you're saying is I'm improving," Amethyst grinned.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pearl gazed into the phone recording her with a solemn expression."Hello gemheads. I- really gemheads?" She asked someone offscreen.

"Yeah, yeah, keep going!"

Pearl cleared her throat and continued. "On behalf of Amethyst, I would like to read a statement. It is with a heavy heart, that I must announce Amethyst's retirement. She will no longer be a part of the show. Rest assured we have found a suitable replacement."

The camera panned to the right revealing Amethyst nobly holding a stuffed replica of herself frozen in a Superman pose that Garnet used to toss at the Red Eye. "I know this is rather sudden but I assure you Dummy-thyst is a worthy successor. I trained her myself."

"This will be a tough process for all of us but in some aspects Dummy-thyst will be a massive improvement," Pearl continued. "She doesn't require make-up, she's a great listener, she won't go off-script-"

"That's true."

"-she's polite, patient, she won't raid the craft table the first chance she gets-"

"Well no one is saying that's a problem-"

"-she actually washes her hands, she's punctual, she'll work for cheap, she doesn't need binders, she has thicker skin-"

"OKAY THANKS FOR WATCHING! NOW GIVE ME MY PHONE!"

Pearl held the camera up out of reach and smiled for the camera. "Case in point, thicker skin. Bye!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read and liked the first chapter. I'm still trying to get the hang of how I want to format this alternating between bloopers and behind the scene moments. With all the insanity going I should have more time to work on this but I won't make any promises. As always, it would mean the world if you leave a review and comment on what you liked, didn't like, and what you'd like to see in upcoming chapters. Take care and stay safe.


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